HOW I BUILT MY CONFIDENCEMonday, January 05, 2015
//fake it till you make it// probably around 7 years ago when I was still a freshman in high school I was scared of everything. It was hard for me at the beginning of it because it was a completely different town and I didn’t knew anyone. As every other teenage girl I really wanted a boyfriend because I thought he would make stuff easier for me (now I know boys are the exact opposite) so I went through a bunch of magazines and read all about how to get a guy. Everywhere was written one thing: “be confident”. And to be honest that was the hardest thing for me because I wasn’t able to be confident while hating myself and every single inch of my body. So I came to idea of faking it. First step was a confident walk. I still remember the day when I was going home from the train station and I was singing a song in my head by Rihanna-Only Girl. That songs was in my head for couple of months for every single time I had to give “the walk” to the world. That’s the walk you have to pass a bunch of people and you have a feeling like every single person is watching you at that moment (usually on bus/train stations, school halls,..). I looked like I run this world but the inside was something completely else. People start to consider you as a confident woman and not as a scary little girl and little by little you start to feel the same way too. Trust me because this tells you the girl that few years ago hated mirrors and now she makes 15 selfies by day.
//dress to impress// maybe that sounds like a cliché to some of you but it’s true. Clothing can make a huge change and by that I don’t mean you have to spend a fortune to look good. It’s all about choosing well, knowing your body and what looks good on you. Even if you are curvier don’t be afraid to wear dresses as I was. I loved dresses more than anything since I was a little girl but I was never wearing them because I though they should only be worn by skinny girls. One day I was standing in the changing room at the shop, looking myself in the mirror, wearing a dress and thinking if I should buy it. And I did. After people got used of me wearing a dress I did too. So I bought another one, and now I have a side of closet just for dresses and skirts. Clothes you are wearing also tells to the people around you if you are confident in your own body, that’s why you should always choose clothing that fits you right and makes you look like you own this.
//say yes// basically I have to push myself to do stuff I usually wouldn’t and say yes to things that would scare me. That’s the only way I got out of feeling depressed and down about myself. This was basically stepping out of my comfort zone and do enjoy in life. I kept thinking about what is the worst thing that could happen if I would say yes to that date, or to the concert, picnic, party… and I wasn’t able to come to any smart answer,that’s why I said *yes*. By saying this short magical world I made memories I’ll never forget and met people I’ll never lose. I take this as my little mission to see how far can I go, how many new people can I meet and how many new smiles can I share.
//challenge yourself// when I see a guy walking in to a bar I challenge myself whether I can seduce him and then I try my best at doing it. This is just an example but what I’m trying to say it’s how easily you can challenge yourself and do stuff you won’t do otherwise. Another example is when I have a presentation in front of my class and I challenge myself with saying: “ok girl now show to the world you’re ready for this shi* and if you can do this than you can do anything”. First time is the worst but next time you’ll already see the difference and if I return to my first example-in a few tries you will seduce men like Marilyn Monroe. Few years ago I was scared to even think about flirting with guys but now I just start a conversation out of nowhere and leave the room with a bunch of new phone contacts in my iPhone.
//walk naked// this might sound weird to you but it helps as hell. You don’t have to be completely naked but at least be wrapped in the towel. I have my own floor and my own room so this might be easier for me but whenever I take a shower I walk naked around my room... naked until I find out what I’m going to wear and that usually takes quite a lot of time. I used to close my eyes while changing my clothes because I had to stand in front of the mirror and I just didn’t want to watch myself being naked. Now I turn on music and pretend I‘m in a musical so I sing and dance around being wrapped in the towel.
//surround yourself with similar people// I had to stop with my thoughts that were telling me there are just skinny girls out there and how only they can look attractive. Important thing for me was to be surrounded by girls like I am, similar size, similar style. You can’t really change your friends but you can change people you spend your days looking at them as inspiration and by that I mean social networks. I went on a hunt for a public icons and fashionistas but this time for girls that are labeled as plus size (btw they’re almost never actually plus size). Now I’m aware of the fact that fashion is for everyone and when I open Instagram I don’t get depressed by looking to the abs of VS models. I can’t even describe how much this has helped me through the time. The reason why we are all feeling depressed about our bodies is because we are always surrounded by magazines, movies, ads on the street, with models and their perfect eyelashes, hair, legs and butt. You can’t change the subway add you have to look at every single day when you’re driving home but you can change who you look at on Facebook, Instagram, …
Girl love yourself !
//// read Living Life As A Curvy Girl blog post ////